World of Warcraft Sucked Me In

I tried to resist; I really did. My addictive personality really didn't need this. But it happened. I saw too many ads for the "free 10 days of access" to World of Warcraft (WoW), a massive multiplayer online game, and I gave in. And, true to form, after day one of immersion into this superb online game, I was hooked. I upgraded my account, and now I'm in this fix but good.

OK, why is it that online gamers have to be so much like society in general? And don't give me this crap about how the online experience is just a little microcosm of our society IRL. I know that already. But somehow I saw this scenario developing: In WoW, I can be a fantasy character. I can use magic, I can perform great feats of strength. I can 'belong' to a bigger online group, a sense of online family, even. Everyone is free to have fun, and engage in online community-building.

So why are there so many jerks online?

I think that all that teen male testosterone has to go somewhere. And so hey, when you're young (real young) and hip, and know a bit about gaming, then you have to have a presence online, right? No matter what, you're going to have your opinion heard, and be just as rude and obnoxious online as you probably are to people offline. Yes, the internet has always provided the anonymity to be someone you're not, but sheesh...do the rude idiots have to be everywhere?

I choose to portray a female character online. Why? No, I'm not out looking to score with the babes. I find that there are already enough male characters online, and females are a challenge to play, and play well. Also, the few other female characters I've come across have been genuinely interested in the game and the role-playing (and yes, I'm aware that there are other males playing females online; as long as they're good at the role-playing, who am I to judge? The more, the merrier).

I started looking around to see if there were any all-female guilds. The only one I've seen with promise is based out of Australia, so they wouldn't necessarily be around at the times I would be online.

My best friends have always been female, my entire life. I get along with them well, I find them to be more entertaining and challenging to my own point of view, and quite frankly, I have male friends too, but I know how guys are. We get tiring after a while. I aspire for more quality in my friendships.

So...:sigh:...any female WoW players out there who want to team up and help a female level 7 mage move up the ranks a bit? If so, email me, and we'll talk.

If not, it's gonna be a long winter.

Now Is The Winter Of My Content

So now comes winter to this part of the States, even though officially it doesn't arrive for a few more weeks. Along with the colder months comes a time where we tend to hibernate a bit more in our homes and other cozy places. This month also sees a bunch of holiday gatherings happening at my workplace, and then the major family get-togethers at home. Two factors coming together at this time of year -- food, and warm winter clothing.

I think it's fairly well established now that I have a definite oral fixation. Anything curved on a woman's body has the potential to light me up if only it's a little more curved, a little more packed. As we tend to hibernate during the cold winter months, we also tend to eat just a little bit more. As a result, those cute little bellies of my female friends tend to fill out a bit, get a little rounder, get a little softer. We also switch to wearing bulkier clothing -- sweaters, shirts, coats -- so those wonderful parts can grow a bit more, secure in the knowledge that their owners are keeping them well-protected, warm, and dry.

I've spoken of my fascination for well-endowed bellies, breasts, hips, and butts before here. I've also noticed a change in myself over the years. Where I once would have categorized myself as an out-and-out BBW or SSBBW fan, where cups are overflowing everywhere, I see myself retreating a bit from that IRL. Now, as the "Skinny" video posted here recently models, I find myself attracted to women who still fall in the BBW realm, only not so over-the-top. (Wow, I still can't get that image out of my head of the BBW in the video with the beautiful breasts rolling to and fro across the top of that corset). But I digress.

I'm sure most of you have become very sexually stimulated during the day, and have looked for ways to relieve the tension. I am also interested, however, in sometimes *prolonging* the tension, to feel myself sexually stimulated during the day. Oh sure, women have all sorts of interesting options; Shay wrote about Ben Wa balls here. My version is to take an empty toy balloon, fill it with warm water to the point where it just begins to expand, and then tie it off. I then nestle it inside my briefs, resting it just under my shaft, nicely half-hard in anticipation. A little bit about me you do not know -- I use a wheelchair because of a disability, so I am sitting down all day. This is how I can pull it off and keep it in place all day. I can feel it down there between my legs, and my semi-erect to erect cock can bounce up and down upon it off and on during the day. The sensation is extraordinary. I once told a female college friend of mine that I knew well about it, and she at first asked if it wasn't similar to guys stuffing a sock down there to fill things out a bit in their jeans. Then she looked at me, and said, "But wait, we're talking YOU here -- oh, OK, that makes sense to me now." She promised to never punch me there without asking first, just to make sure. I thanked her for thinking of me and my body in such a caring fashion.

So, how about you? Do you do anything "extra" from time to time to get you off during the day, either at work or home? Shoot me a comment or email.

And, oh yes...I'm packing today. Shhhh...

EE

Working Up A Sweat

I wanted to call this post "Dealing with our preferences at home, at work, and in society in general", but then thought better of it. I was compelled to post after a situation that happened where I work yesterday.

My work team consists of a core of ten people, and because of the kind of work we do, we tend to have very close working relationships. We also meet once a week for a staff meeting. At this week's meeting, one of our team members announced that she was pregnant. This wasn't that unexpected -- we had all attended her wedding last year, and we knew she and her husband wanted children. But...then she said she was pregnant, about 8 weeks, and was due in July. That was reality. None of the other females on my team have been pregnant since I've worked here. As I took in the words she was saying, I knew my pupils were dilating. I shifted in my seat, as I suddenly became very aware that I was becoming excited at the image of her soon-to-be expanding curves. She's not even my type, I thought, but the subtle teasing of my id was not to be ignored.

I chastised myself. I mean, it's great self-knowledge to know what your triggers are, but for god's sake, you have to show a little self-restraint now and then, too. I went home and thought about how I should handle this (I know, this is all very egocentric. She's the one who's pregnant. Just focus here for a moment).

Well, there was a confluence of events that happened last night. I posted the video below this post of "Skinny", and those women were rattling around in my head. Very erotic. Then I saw another image on a blog relating to someone in a bikini. That got mixed in with the video. Then this news from my co-worker. I went to sleep with all this stimuli. Something had to give. I worked it out in a nice, warm shower the next morning.

I am at a point in my life where I refuse to not allow lust a way in to my brain. Lust makes anything possible. Lust is good.

This morning, I knew I needed to diffuse the tension between what I was feeling and my co-worker. I IM'ed her and told her congratulations again for the great news. I also told her that she was going to look so cute and sexy with a big, pregnant belly. She is about 6'1" or so, and has an athletic, slim build. She laughed it off, saying she was interested in what she would look like herself. I told her, in an off-hand way, that I'd have to watch myself, because I found pregnant bellies very attractive. She tool it in the spirit intended, laughed, and said "I love it when you stop by my office to chat...you always have a way of making me laugh." Ahh, off the hook.

It will be a fun seven months. And it made me wonder...we all have our little preferences or fetishes, if you prefer (if not, why are you reading this blog?). How do you deal with stimulating events that happen out of your comfort zone at home? For example, ever get so turned on at work that you had to get yourself off right then and there? I have. Thank goodness for the big, roomy, accessible stalls at work. How about you? Share a sexy story with me in the comments, or via email at: explore.eros@gmail.com

EE

Lo-rider: "Skinny"

OK, you want to really know what turns me on? Check out this video from a group called Lo-rider for their song "Skinny". They would have to use a few crowbars to pry me away from any of these women. I cannot stop watching it. Lather. Rinse. Repeat.

*This* is celebrating yourself, this is celebrating curves, this is celebrating voluptuousness, this is being sexy as hell.

Wow, I need a shower now.

EE

A Way With Words: Aural Fixation

In my wanderings around the online world over the years, I was fortunate enough to meet various women who did share, to a certain extent, the fantasies that I have. Reading through a story or two of mine, you'll notice that there is a definite touch of pregnancy fantasy, but that the wish fulfillment that the fantasy brings has nothing to do with the ultimate product, the baby. In mulling this over for many years (we psych grads are nothing if not introspective), I've come to the conclusion that in my fantasy, the climax comes at the thought of the body temporarily losing control of itself, to the point where the climax is inevitable. Curves that were merely pleasing or mildly erotic now become enhanced, pushed beyond their normal limits. The rapid progression of the pregnant belly and breasts become metaphors for the building orgasm inside me.

Once explored with other women, some realized that they had a part of that fantasy within themselves. The body is an amazing vehicle for our fantasies -- both other bodies as well as our own. It's well-documented the way that society sends messages about what is deemed 'acceptable' to women and men. It's up to us to determine how much sway that societal opinion is going to have in our own lives. And I'm not talking about how we interact with others, as we very deftly put on our suits of mental armor as we deal with others in our lives. I mean how we see ourselves...and this most definitely enters the arena of play and fantasy.

Those with differing body types may all see themselves as something quite different during self-play, from being the same body shape to something with less weight or defining curves, some more, some in a different gender, with the accompanying sexual body parts to play with.

But again, there is also a focus that occurs with the thought of 'losing control' of one's body for some...and in the little bit of research I've been able to do inside the realm of fetish within the anime and hentai community, the loss of control of one's body to forces outside oneself is a very powerful theme. With this loss of control, sometimes great powers emerge.

I will admit that this last thought, that of a bit of loss of control, as well as a temporary gender swap, lies within my fantasy play centering around an exaggerated pregnancy fantasy. Other women I have met over the years also claim a sense of exaggeration coming through their play, where bellies, breasts, and other parts of them become rounder, heavier, more curved, more filled. This sense, in part, of becoming a "mother earth" type of woman held a powerful sexual release for them. This blended well with my particular fantasy play, so a few of these women became very good online friends of mine.

We quickly realized that reading each others' erotica and chat logs in private room encounters was wonderful, however another sensation was missing -- that of the voice. There is something sexually delicious about hearing a particularly effective fantasy being expressed through the spoke word directly into your own ears. And so, a private phone club was developed over the years with myself and these women who shared body-manipulation fantasies. We called ourselves the "Aural Sex Club", and would setup times to call each other when the need arose for getting off in some private time.

We were all in different stages of relationships when this all started; I was single at the time, but beginning to see someone in college. Others were married, divorced, widowed, single, seeing someone -- all realms of possibility. Some friends needed to give up the circle for various reasons, but there continues to be a core group of us that have the most wonderful shared fantasies online and off via voice. Interestingly enough, using webcams has not yet entered the realm of what we've experienced.

But, polling the group over the years, we came up with certain words that triggered an erotic nerve in our fantasies. Naturally enough, they all have to do with body parts and their various stages of being. We're all quite happy with a designation of "orally fixated", as we definitely are.

Here's some words we enjoy, when used to describe erogenous zones on the body (mostly belly, breasts, hips, butt):

full (fuller, fullness), curve (curving, curvaceous), fill (filling, filled), burst (bursting), round (rounded, rounding, rounder), pop (popping, popped), grow (growing, grown), stretch (stretched, stretching), blow (blowing up), inflate (inflating, inflated), tight (tighter, tightest, tightening), tear (tearing, torn), excite (excited, exciting), engorge (engorged, engorging), hard (harder, hardest, hardening), wet (wetter, wettest), packed, push (pushed, pushing), roll (rolling)

...to name a few. We've all gotten very good over time at setting just the right mood and triggering the right reaction in the body to send someone over the edge with wonderful regularity. Need a quick release or a long one? Can do. And it's always a mind-blowing orgasm, as well.

I was in radio for a short time, and I've often wondered if there was a market for women calling men for sexual release. I don't know enough about the market to know if that need exists, but it'd be fun to give it a try. Finding out if this specific quick body-transformational fantasy is out there amongst women has been a long pursuit, but one I'm in no hurry to complete. As the old saying goes, if you think you're alone in what turns you on, just go online. Eventually, you'll find others that share the same fantasy.

I've found some, but I'm always looking for others...

Email me if you'd like to explore this for yourself.

EE

Filling The Void

The life of a surrogate. Always something different, with different women coming to you, asking to bear their children for them. And the look of absolute love when they finally received the baby that they themselves could not bear. She enjoyed that part, making couples happy. This last pregnancy had been a challenge. As luck (and fertility drugs) had it, she had carried five. Yes, quintuplets. She was lucky, however, in the fact that her body was extremely acceptable to the surrogate pregnancies, and her uterus retained an elasticity that made carrying one or five just as easy. Easy, she chuckled to herself. If they only knew. 

For in reality, she loved the feeling of pregnancy. The body changes. The stimulation of the breasts, and their growth. The general feeling of well being as the pregnancy hormones took effect and her body became a perfect vessel for nine months, give or take. But by far her favorite, most cherished part of her nine-month odysseys was her belly. Her uterus swelling, her belly accommodating it, and the whole feeling of enormous weight and gravity in front of her, with her everywhere, apparent when she stood, sat, walked, slept. She always secretly wished that one of these times, she'd need to be confined to bedrest. Then she could just concentrate on eating right, and growing that massive belly girth that she enjoyed. 

But right now, the need was different. She had delivered her five, and was back home. It was a few days later, and the easy delivery had left her missing the whole experience. Bottom line, it came down to wanting that belly again, to the need to be so filled. That brought her to the present time, and the package she received today.

A friend of hers online had told her about it, and she had to order one for herself. She blushed a bit now as she opened the package. "Waterbelly Willy" it read, and as she opened it at the kitchen table, she saw what to her looked like a regular jellied dildo. Heck, she had plenty of toys like this within easy reach. But then, as she took it out of its packaging, she saw what now made it different. The end of it, at the base, had a nozzle attachment for water hookup. And the rest of it, well it looked realistic enough, felt very pliable. She grasped the length of it with a practiced hand, and felt its heft. The question was, would it fill her enough? Well, she'd soon find out. 



She took the coil of white hose that was included in the package, and figured out how to attach it to the base of the Waterbelly Willy. She then went to her bedroom and arranged the pillows so that she could prop her back up in a comfortable position. This done, she went in to the small bathroom connected to the room, and hooked the faucet adapter to the brass fixture. She uncoiled the tubing, finding that there was plenty to reach her bed and then some. According to the wonderfully concise directions in the package, she was now supposed to "Arouse self to supply sufficient moisture. Insert Willy. Turn on water supply. Enjoy. Use at own discretion." Woohoo, how exciting could you get? Shrugging her shoulders, she decided to go for it. A gleam appeared now in her eye. And she began to think of the possibilities. 

She decided to just lean back, and think over the last few months of her latest pregnancy. The size and shape of her belly then. The roundness. The way it made her feel to move around with it. Soon, she knew with a chuckle that she had acquired the requisite amount of moisture to do the job. She took Willy from where it lay on her nightstand, and slowly eased it up and down against her mound, feeling its surface softly move across her clean-shaven skin. Slowly, she teased it around the sides of her outer pussy lips, teasing it in and out of her folds, getting it slick with her juices...then, inserting it partially so that just the head slipped in, she rolled it around, and pressed up towards the top of her at the same time. The pleasure was immediate, and striking. Mmm, this could definitely work, she thought to herself, as she slid the rest of it into herself. It fit wonderfully, and felt very smooth and cool inside her. 

She now had to stifle a laugh as she looked down to see a hose trailing out from her pussy, leading to the bathroom. Well now, what a problem. I don't want to have to go back and forth between the bed and the sink to check the water pressure. Well, I'll fill it a little and then work with that. That settled, she eased herself up off the bed, went over to the bathroom faucet, and turned on both hot and cold sides...a little more hot, so that it would be warmer. She then hurried back to the bed and nestled herself into the mountain of pillows she had prepared. The water took its time to travel through the entire length of the tubing, and in that half-minute or so, she worked the dildo around inside of her again, started again to think her erotic thoughts about her belly and breasts, and waited for a change. 

She didn't have to wait long. When the water ran its course and hit the bottom of the Waterbelly Willy, the result was instantaneous. She felt the water enter the dildo and run its length, feeling nicely warm. It plumped out inside of her a bit, fattened a little. Ooh, this feels nice. And then, she could feel the head of it swell inside of her...swell, and stretch. It felt as if it knew its way inside her, and was seeking something. As she worked it around with one hand, her legs spread out to either side, she felt it find its mark. It bumped the top of her cervix, then retracted just a bit. Nahh, this thing didn't have a mind of its own...what was it up to? Then she figured it out; it had retreated a bit because it now started to plump out to the sides. It was growing fatter inside of her. The sensation was wonderfully, deliciously, sensual. 

Oh God, she thought. The feeling...wanting to be so full again. Wanting to have something, anything inside of me to fill that space between my legs and up within my womb.

This was unlike any dildo she had ever used. The water supply chugged along merrily from the faucet, through the hose, and in between her welcoming legs. Pushing, filling, stretching. She then thought about her recently vacated uterus, and reached down with one hand to rub the stretched out portion of belly skin she carried with her. Another week or so, and the lack of pregnancy hormones would really start firming her back into shape. Breastfeeding also sped the process along. But here she was still in her post-partum state, and she was ready to be full again within. 

The Waterbelly grew more and more sideways, ballooning within her. It then reached the sides of her womb, and settled for a moment. The sense of fullness inside her was wonderful. She gingerly moved her legs to the side of the bed, and stood. The weight inside her felt snug and plump. She walked slowly to the bathroom, only half-aware she was doing so. She was enjoying too much the familiar feeling of the pregnant waddle she loved so much. She reached the faucet, and without giving it a second thought, turned the water on harder. 

Standing in the bathroom, she closed the door behind her, and took a look in the full-length mirror that was attached there. There was a slight belly forming already at her middle, plumping up the flesh that had so loosely hung there before. She was amazed -- and as she stood there, admiring her profile, it was already shifting some more. She had to place one hand on the sink counter to catch her balance -- she was filling out quite rapidly now. The Waterbelly had managed to seal itself against any leaks, as she felt nothing dripping from her, except her own excitement. She opened the lid to the toilet and sat down. Cupping her hands under her now expanding waistline, she watched as her womb pushed outwards, inflating more and more, and taking her tummy with it. She then noticed that her breasts had not let the excitement escape their notice. Her nipples were plumped up, and as she squeezed one, it hardened in response, and a small trickle of milk emanated from the tip. She then held both in her hands, and pushed them together in the middle -- and what a middle! It was rising to the occasion, and reaching more towards her breastbone. Her belly now pushed her legs more to the sides, and it became clear that she once again had the familiar curves of a heavily pregnant woman. She played with her clit there, observing it in the mirror and seeing how fully plumped it had become, and how deeply wine colored. And still the device inside her pumped on. 



After being mesmerized for 10 more minutes, one hand on her bulging belly, one playing with herself, she decided to get up again and move back to the bed. She staggered to her feet, reeling with the new weight after so recently being emptied. She grabbed for the towel bar that was across from the sink. Her belly now lurched forward, pulling all the weight in front of her and down...she was forced down into a semi-squatting position as she grappled with the overblown belly that now loomed before her. It took her a few tries before she could get upright again. Then, her backside arching incredibly, she waddled and heaved her way back to the bed. In her haste, she had forgotten to turn off the faucets. 

Mmm, she ached...but it was the kind of ache she was looking for. She plopped herself down onto the bed, and wrestled with herself to try and get her left leg up onto the bed. It wouldn't go. She tried grabbing under her knee and lifting, but her passion had created a fine sheen of sweat over her body. Finally, she gave up fighting with it, and leaned back onto the bed, then rolled sideways. The sound of all the water shifting inside of her was a cascade of waves, bounces, and crashes. She got to her side, then bent her knees and lifted the right leg to rest her thigh against her belly. She was barely able to, but managed to kick at the sheet and cover enough to bring it within grabbing distance. She pulled them both up to her chin, then reached underneath the sheet and cradled her burgeoning belly with both arms, and her thighs. The water slowly gurgled on.

She felt warm, comfortable, safe...filled. More and more. Content with the feeling that she had turned the water off, her eyelids started to close on her. She thought back, dreamily, to the fun she had had in her last months being pregnant, when she went to the swimming pool dressed in the largest maternity bathing suit she could find. One-piece, it was stretched out to maximum just attempting to hug all her huge curves at once. But oh, could she float then...float...float...she drifted off to sleep. 



It's an amazing bit of creation, the uterus. From a muscular sac that starts out the size of about a fist, it can expand when filled and cajoled many times its size. In this case, it had done work, overtime, and holiday pay as well. She awoke out of a dream where she had been floating in a pool but then the next thing she knew she was leaning against the wall at the bottom of an empty pool. She opened her eyes with a start. She figured her dream out in a flash...she had drained the pool. 

She looked, puzzled, at the bedspread she had pulled over her. From her vantage point, she saw a big mound in the middle of the bed, like she had stuffed a few pillows under her to sleep on, like she did when she was pregnant. But she didn't remember doing that before her nap. Also, her left leg, under her, had gone completely asleep, numb. She hated that. The pins and needles feel when it woke back up was torture. Then, she realized that, even though she was under the covers, her belly was very cold. She felt an aching in her right leg now...and her right arm hurt too. Now a bit worried, she reached up and threw back the sheet and comforter.



The water had been left on. The warm water had run out...minutes...hours ago? She wasn't sure. However, she was sure, incredibly, of what she saw before her. Her uterus had kept expanding, like a giant old-fashioned waterbottle. Her uterus, being made of bands of tissue that crossed in front of itself, had ballooned and swelled out to occupy most of the rest of the bed to the right side. Except for the connecting muscle strips between the uterus. The effect was that of rolls of fat, with a huge inner-tube shape, then a valley back in to the middle, then another tube shape...one stacked over another, seven total she counted. Then, the massive indentation right down the top of her belly, splitting it in half side to side. She was like a massive, segmented beachball. Her uterine muscles had given their all; her stomach walls had followed, totally losing all tone to stretch to their capacity. When the fluid got too much for her belly cavity, it had flowed down to her thighs, swelling them to the point where each felt like an overstuffed sausage. Finally, apparently the internal pressure in her was too much to allow more water in the dildo; the coiled hose had disconnected from between her legs at some point, and had fallen to the floor. She could imagine the water soaking the carpeting now. 

She then attempted to roll from her left side on to her back. Like she imagined the Michelin Man must feel, she couldn't get herself to budge...she was too solid with liquid. Her thighs pumped against each other, to little avail. She reached under her overswollen breasts to grab her left underarm, then her shoulder. With a massive tug, three total, she began to roll to her back. It was a wild, slow motion, progressive sight. First her butt rolled right, then she felt her right leg tumble up, over, and down to the bed, then her belly began its arc. It started to go straight up, then buckled over to the left again, and the fluid sort of emptied from the bottom of her to rush to her right side, resettling the cargo on deck of this huge freighter of a body. Her sheet and comforter had long since been pushed off her by this activity; she now saw all of her in her monumental glory. Overswollen breasts, pushed to the sides of a massive, rounded, inner tube constructed belly, and fat thighs that pulsed with the sound of pressure, and wetness. She'd figure out how to get out of bed and empty all of this later. Right now, she didn't have much time to think of her peril. She felt the undulating waves of sensual pleasure build up within that overstuffed belly, deep down inside her clit and mound and vagina...her fertile crescent, she moaned, as the mere action of moving side to side built up the pressure inside her, brought her to the precipice of orgasm, then pushed her over the edge as she felt down, grasping and lifting her left breast with one hand and pinching, teasing her swollen nipple, while the other hand traced the curvature of her belly, unbelievably round, inordinately stretched, harboring the capacity for not one, but at least two full sets of sextuplets... She moaned softly to herself as the wave broke, and the orgasm shuddered and shook her body, sending ripples against her tightly stretched body...mmm, two full sets, yesss...and full-grown, too...

That Sexy, Conspiratorial Look

After I found myself at college, far away from the house I grew up in, I reveled in my new freedom. I became involved in student activities, and lived on campus for two years, and was a residence adviser (RA) for a year. The benefits of being an RA included your own single room in the dorms, and a small stipend. It was great to have a door capable of being locked at times, when I wanted to be alone to play, or share with a certain female companion.

My third year at college, I moved off-campus to a newer apartment community that had sprung up around the fringes of the college. I also was heavily involved in my psychology curriculum, and loved just about all of my classes. It was in a class that involved teaching the correct way to interview subjects, and how to create and deliver a proper questionnaire, that I met her.

We both had a tendency to come in last-minute to class, so we sat towards the back, usually within just a seat or two of each other. We got paired up once for an in-class assignment, and seemed to hit it off pretty well, so we sought each other out for assignments from then on. She had an easy laugh, long blondish hair, and knew how to speak about sex in casual conversation, in a clinical conversation, or when we were just being stupidly silly.

She also had a steady boyfriend. Isn't that the way it goes? Well, I was in-between relationships at the moment, so I figured that the "our time" we shared in class would be enough. I didn't know it would become more than that.

One day, we'd paired up as usual to complete an assignment in-class. This one was asking questions off a questionnaire to gauge when someone had first experience masturbation, what the experience was like, if fantasy was involved, and if so, what seemed to trigger the erotic feelings...an image, a sound, a smell? Well, it turned out that our instructor wanted it paired up male/female on this, so it worked out wonderfully for us. When it got to the part where she needed to ask the questions, I could hear her breath catch a bit when she heard that, for me, my earliest masturbation experience involved fantasizing about having a pregnant belly. She handled it wonderfully though, and went right through the rest of the questions, and then I asked her. After the class was over, on the way out, she asked me, point blank..."how much of that was real, and how much made-up?". I told her the answers were as real as the ones she gave me. "Hmmm, interesting" she said. She gave a low, conspiratorial chuckle, and then was on her way home.

I asked her, off-handedly, if she lived on-campus. Yes, she said, with my boyfriend. She told me where, in case we ever needed to study together -- it was about three buildings down from my off-campus apartment.

Fast-forward six months or so. We've built quite a friendship, and she has hung around with Mr. Steady though this time. She misses two classes one week, and then leaves a message on my answering machine asking for notes from them. When I finally get a chance to catch up with her, she gives me the news -- she is pregnant, and Mr. Steady, well, was actually Mr. Not-So-Much. He had freaked out, didn't want any part of this, and it had all ended badly. She was going to have the baby, but definitely wanted to give it up for adoption. I immediately volunteered to help her through whatever she needed. She thanked me and said that would be great.

It turned out to be a good bonding experience between her, me, her close girlfriends, and, in the end, her parents. All this is prelude to what happened one summer evening, when she was about 7 months along.

Having known my sexual preference in fantasy, she invited me over to share some pizza and watch a movie on a Friday night. I happily obliged, throwing on my sweats and a college shirt. Once we ate some slices, and sat down to watch the movie on her couch, we talked back and forth about recent news with our mutual friends. I asked her how she was feeling now, and she got that fun, conspiratorial look in her eye again as she cocked her head slightly towards the side. "I have a question for you", she said. She kept her gaze level with mine. "I know you love fantasizing about pregnant women...have you ever fantasized about me? Be honest, now." What could I say? I told her the truth, that ever since her belly and breasts had begun to expand a few months back, that she had become my major fantasy that kept me occupied when I did get off. I hoped she would take it well. I hoped she wouldn't hit me. "Well, I kinda figured." She laughed, snorting a bit. Then this..."so, dontcha think it's time you try this pregnancy thing out for a bit?". My mind reeled. The only thing I could remember was that, a while back in class, we had talked about pregnancy simulators for men, which was a specially-formed suit that some counselors used for men to experience a bit of what it might feel like to be pregnant...however, I knew they were expensive, and I didn't think she had one stashed around her apartment anywhere. "Hang on a sec." she said. She slowly got herself off the couch, said "Don't peek; I'll be a few minutes", then headed back for the kitchen, rummaged around for a bit, then headed to the bathroom.

I was intrigued. I was excited. I could feel my pulse pounding in my neck.

After a few minutes, she called me back to the bathroom. When I got there, I saw the scenario she had laid out for me. In the bathtub, she had her soft, white vinyl bath pillow she used to prop her head up when she took baths...which were getting more infrequent these days, since she had grown larger and her center of gravity was thrown off. She had pulled up a chair next to the tub, and asked me to get in. Before I did though, she had me put a huge garbage bag she had found up inside my shirt, and had me pull the open end of the bag through the neck of the shirt. Then she had me tie off the drawstrings on my sweatpants a little tighter. "You ready now," she said. "Kick off those shoes and socks, and I hope you don't mind getting a little wet, potentially." She also twirled around in her hand the removable shower head on a long hose that she had detached from inside the tub. "Time for you to get pregnant, young man."

She very obviously saw the erection that shoved through the front of my sweats. "Aww, that's sweet" she said, noticing. "Time for a little workout. How much weight do you think that thing of yours can support?" I was speechless. "Well, hop in, let's see". I did as I was told.

Resting against the vinyl pillow, I moved my legs apart a bit on the bottom of the tub. She meanwhile turned on the water experimentally, testing the temperature by running it into the sink next to the tub. When she got it to a nicely warned temperature, she turned back towards me. "This won't hurt a bit" she said, as she snaked the showerhead into the top of the bag under the neck of my shirt. She tied it off with a twist-tie. "Here we go, one preggo male, coming up!" She turned on the water.

The results were very comical, and very sensual. The water flowed into the bag, and the bag filled up under my shirt, giving me a fast version of what she looked like. As I expanded, the "belly" came to rest on my erection, and the pressure it caused was tremendous. At one point, she had me try getting up, but as I leaned forward, the bag threw my balance off, and all I could manage was to fall back, helpless under this mad scientist's experiment.

She let me grow more, and as I expanded, she slipped a hand under the multi-month belly I now hard, and found my waistband...undoing it, she slipped her hand down to my erection, and began rubbing it, bouncing her hand off the water-filled bag above, then coming down hard on my shaft. I got so into what she was doing, I lost track of the water, and closed my eyes...when I opened them about a minute later, my shirt was all but filled, and my pseudo-pregnant belly was so big that the sides were now coming up the sides of the bathtub itself. I was now a massive water belly with some legs and arms attached. She took pity on me then, and got me off after a few minutes more. We then drained the bag (almost a story in itself), and got my wet self out of the tub. Now dripping, she asked me to just leave my stuff in the tub, and that she'd wash them and get them back to me before I left. I obliged, and, rather longingly, looked at her now naked and very pregnant form. "Come on," she said now, "You're soaked. Let's get you dry, and then we can get back to the movie...later". With one last conspiratorial look, she toweled me off, and then led me by the hand back to her bedroom instead. The movie and pizza would have to wait.

--

Epilogue: Inspired by this real-life adventure, I got two stories out of it -- Filling The Void, and Pregnant Paws. I'll present Filling The Void next, then save the other for some other time.

ee

Erotic Writing For A Group

When you write erotic stories for yourself, you know what is going to turn you on. You load up on the juicy details that will push all the right buttons and lead you to a wonderful orgasm. When you write for other groups, at their request, you try to guess what will turn someone else on. You end up falling back on what you know works for you, and hope that others will derive pleasure from the same words.

I found myself with stories rolling around in my head that just needed writing. Stories of pure fiction, stories based on real events, stories based on fiction and real events. You know, stuff. So I wrote. For me. Because I already knew how weird I was. Then, in my rambling around the 'net, I discovered the Fat Admirers.

These are truly wonderful folks who not only stand behind positive self-talk for folks of size, they've got the erotic part of it nailed. In this corner, there's NAAFA (National Association for the Advancement of Fat Acceptance). They are advocating for fat folk, trying hard to get accommodations for airplane seats, for consistent sizing in all parts of life, from hospital gowns to theater seats. But, there was always another part of NAAFA that would become a very touchy subject. The FAs, or Fat Admirers. For them, there was enjoying women who were large, and then there was a range of FAs that enjoyed and found erotic women called SSBBWs, or Super-Sized Big Beautiful Women. In their fantasies, some of these men saw women go so far as to be immobilized by their size, totally dependent upon their caregivers. So yes, another group who knows what it's like to be called perverts by a majority of society.

I thought this might be a good fit for me. I am a big guy to begin with, 6'3", 300 lbs at one time. I have since lost some weight, but I've always been happy with whatever size I was at the time. So, good talk about size appealed to me. Plus, with my curvy body preference, I figure THIS was going to be the Group That Understood. I had a fetish for women who looked pregnant, and here were women that could conceivably get off on the same thing about themselves. I figured, certainly there had to be at least one woman who, as a child, began to realize that she got off on pretending to be pregnant, and then carried that into adulthood with her, to the point that she might put herself into scenarios where she might "become pregnant" by stuffing her clothes or otherwise filling herself out to look pregnant.

Can you guess how this turned out? Surprise, surprise...loving a wonderfully big belly is one thing, even going so far as to stuff that belly into oblivion -- but this is different than a erotic preference for "pregnant" play. And so, I was rejected, again. I still go back every now and then to chat and read the forums, but the site I once frequented looking for an online erotic play partner had intimated, in no uncertain terms, that fat was where it's at, but the belly is for just that -- fat. Any other use...let's say, using it in a glorious fantasy about a swollen pregnant belly and breasts -- well, that's just perverting what we're all about!

There's that word again.

I'll close this by saying that I still wrote several stories posted in the online story archive for the particular site I hung around off and on for a few years. I got a few good comments, but nothing off the charts. My first story ever published online was an ode to the upcoming holiday of Thanksgiving, titled Stuffing Time. I present it in my next post.

Thanksgiving's Coming, and so am I

Next week brings Thanksgiving here in the States, and this day is always an erotic tripwire for me. Why? Well, one of my sexual preferences is for the soft, round, curvy parts on women. Big surprise, right? What guy stereotypically doesn't find a big bust or butt attractive? Well, mine goes a bit farther than that. However, oddly enough, not to an extreme. Confused yet? Let me explain.

When I became aware of my body as something sexual and something I could really have fun playing with, I realized that there were many different ways of applying pressure to my penis to make it feel really good. One I came across that I really liked was applying pressure to it from the front while it was erect, therefore trapping the blood in it, prolonging the erection, and then moving my body, stomach-down, back and forth across the bed. This worked pretty well, but then I realized that more pressure could be had if I stuffed something between my legs to put pressure on my penis, thus leaving my hands free to do whatever else might help get me off. Oh, I forgot to mention...I was about 9 years old at this time. So, remember those kids pajamas with the feet attached to them? I believe they were called Dr. Denton's, but I could be wrong. Anyhow, I came up with the idea of using them for my fun. I slipped them on, and they attached at the top by means of a few round metal snaps. The waist was elastic, and the texture of these blue pj's was sort of a knubby softness. Well, I looked around, and saw a few extra blankets in my room, along with an extra pillow. I proceeded to stretch out the front of the pj's at the waist, and stuffed a blanket down the front, positioning it between my legs, so that my penis was cradled by its softness. Then I put in another blanket. As I sat on the edge of the bed doing this, I could see and feel this compact, full feeling pressing against my penis, a glorious feeling indeed. I flushed a bit as I looked at the pillow...could I get that inside me as well? I noticed that I had to really stretch the waistband a bit to get the snaps to close as it was, but I was determined. I had to make a little more room...so I stood, turned around, lay down on my stomach, and the mass just below my waist shifted a bit. My backside was up in the air, and the warm, swaddling mass between my legs had my heart pounding. I pushed forward a few times, and the blankets compacted a bit more. There. I had a little more room. I rolled over and scootched to the side of the bed again.

It felt weirdly wonderful sitting there, with this balloon-shaped bulge out from my middle. But I knew I could hold more. I unsnapped the waist, and prepared to shove the pillow in.

I wouldn't fit.

I shoved harder. The mass barely moved. No matter what I tried, I couldn't get it to go in. So finally, I slowly pulled everything down towards my ankles, giving me the room I needed. I carefully laid the pillow, length-wise, between my legs and over the mass of blankets. I then pulled the pj's back up, to snap the buttons.

I couldn't get the snaps to work.

Now here's where the vision of fantasy perfection kicks in. I was having the time of my life playing, and I was fully erect -- heck, had been since this began -- but the though of leaving this erotic game undone by the fact that I could not close those snaps, thus providing a perfectly pleasing dome of a 'belly', if you will, with no sheets or corners of pillows sticking out, but all one smooth curve -- would not do. I had to find a way.

Sitting on the edge, I lay down on my back, and edged more towards the footboard of the bed, so I could plant my feet. Then, with both palms planted against the mass in the pj's, I simultaneously pushed with my feet as I plunged down with my hands. I felt my butt rise off the bed as I hammered away, over and over again. I had to get it all in. I had to.

Finally, the mass shifted a bit downward. I had my clearance. I yanked the waist outward enough to finally...snap...the snaps...closed.

I then relaxed my back muscles, dropping to the mattress again. I had done it. I know looked (and felt) like the first pregnant boy ever. Or like the first boy to ever eat a whole Thanksgiving turkey. Whole. I ruminated over these scenarios, turning them over to examine how erotic each made me feel. I was an averaged-sized kid, a little tall for my age, and maybe a few extra pounds, but definitely not fat. The thought of these two scenarios -- pregnant, or temporarily fat -- really turned me on. As I rested from the exertion, I looked towards my left, and I could see my clothes dresser, with its mirror above the dresser top. I could just see my profile sideways, with this massive 'belly' arching up from below my waist. I put a hand over top of the mound, rubbing it around the curve, as I had seen very pregnant women do before.

I came right then. Hard.

I could simultaneously feel my body heat up as my heart rate climbed. The release was wonderful, and strong. Once it stopped, I wanted to feel it again. I knew I had it in me. I reached to my right, where the one remaining blanket on my bed still lay crumpled to the side. I grabbed it, then threw it up and over from right to left, catching it on the other side of this mountainous belly I had made. Once covered, it truly looked to me like I was a nine-month pregnant woman in bed, ready to give birth. Then I felt my penis against the mass, getting hard again.

Nine months? This was my fantasy. Why not ten? Eleven? Twelve? A solid year pregnant...with twins? As I ramped up my imaginary load, the visions of me being unable to walk, being "on bedrest", feeling ready to explode...they all ramped up with me.

I came again. Hard.

I spent a few moments relishing this, then tried for a final crescendo. I wanted to try to roll over onto my 'belly'. Still under the cover, I lunged over to my right, once, twice, trying to get the leverage to move the bulk, each time dropping back. Finally, on the third time, I launched myself just right to get a good position with my hips. I pushed myself up with my arms and my spread feet, and lifted myself off the bed long enough to roll my belly under me.

The effect was tremendous. All my writhing had really compacted and rounded out the mass between my legs, and it felt wonderfully hot down there. But I wanted more. With my backside once again lifted off the mattress, I rocked on my new, fat, gloriously pregnant belly. Back and forth. Towards the head of the bed, then sliding back. And again. And again.

I came for the third time this session, and I just kept rocking as I came, forcing it, milking it, wanting to empty myself as much as I could. My orgasm kept exploding, and I was just along for the ride.

After it was all over, I was physically exhausted. I could do nothing but lie there. I managed to roll to my side again, and rested, stroking the curve in front of me, thinking of pregnant women I had seen, with their beautiful, fat stomachs. Yes, there was a baby involved too, but I didn't care about that. I loved the form. The fat belly, arching outward. The breasts, filling with warm milk and becoming fat and round themselves. The feeling that you could explode any moment. This one, I subconsciously thanked a favorite aunt for, because she had said those exact words to me earlier that year, when she was pregnant..."I feel like I've been pregnant forever...I feel about ready to explode!"

I lay there, long enough to gain the strength to get up and empty myself out, making sure to get the wet blankets into the wash. I then went back to bed, with one hand between my legs, holding my penis, and feel asleep, dreaming as only true erotic release can allow you.

So, Happy Thanksgiving a little early. This was only a start for me. I found that this sexual preference for the rounded female form would form a delicious undercurrent to my fantasies from then on. And it has taken me to the corners of the internet, and my other friendships, to explore and search for a female counterpart to me. I've come close, but never on the mark. The search had always had its high points.

ee